


Clarity of Discussion

by Merfilly



Series: Padawan Plight [5]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Non-Graphic Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-09-01 09:25:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8618944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merfilly/pseuds/Merfilly
Summary: Barriss and Ahsoka wind up discussing the war, specifically the Jedi's part, after they assist the healers in the aftermath of an attack on a unit and the Initiates visiting them.





	

Ahsoka blinked to find Barriss staring at her quizzically, and she had to smile. "I'm okay."

"You've been deep in meditation for a very long time, Ahsoka, yet I did not find you."

"I took a different path," she said, and realized that was the truth. Her way was not to find the Cosmic Force's unity, though… she thought she could, now. "I feel better."

She did, she knew, but it was accompanied by a feeling of having a precipice to walk, knowing there were choices ahead that could tip her the wrong way. Or, worse, tip those in her life the wrong way. She wished she had Master Ti to talk to, suddenly, to ask if she found a different path in her meditations, if this was a Togruta thing.

"As long as you feel better. Do you want to go work in the garden now?"

"Yes!" Ahsoka bounced up and grabbed Barriss by the hand, pulling her along in such enthusiasm that the older girl could not help but laugh, caught up in the wellspring of energy that was Ahsoka Tano.

+++

The good mood lasted until there was an alarm though the Temple, ringing for all healers to come to the Hall quickly. Barriss tensed, then looked at Ahsoka, as if asking what she should do.

"We go. I may not be a healer, but I know how to put people under, so they bleed slower," Ahsoka told her, hurrying to go grab a robe to put over her clothes, and find sturdier shoes. Barriss was soon ready, and both hurried up one level. Nor were they turned away as Jedi and troopers were being brought in on gurneys even now, and the pair of padawans were gently but firmly directed to help in the triage area.

They worked well together, with Ahsoka using basic aid on those she could, and calming the vod'e who were, by and large, more worried for their Jedi than themselves.

"We've got the 501st's commander here, boys; it's going to be fine!" one sergeant called out, and Barriss had to stifle a gasp at the effect it had on them. 

"You're part of Commander Ponds' unit?" Ahsoka asked. "I'll have to tell him you kept your head, and showed real initiative to look out for the men," she praised. The man smiled, ducking his head shyly. She kept working, talking to them, keeping things level-headed as she did. Barriss helped the worse ones that weren't bad enough for a healer right away, her eyes going hard when she came to the first Jedi among them, a girl she knew was still in the Initiate dormitories.

"Jasi, what happened?"

"Master Windu and Master Sinube had taken some of us to the barracks, to introduce us to the men we may one day work with," Jasi answered. "There was an attack, a bunch of droids that unfolded from … from somewhere."

"They were dormant, sir, in our latest weapon shipment," a helpful vod told them. "Commander Offee, isn't it? We're very lucky to have you helping us."

Barriss felt a swell of emotion to both be recognized by a solider she was certain she had never seen before and to be held in high esteem, like Ahsoka.

"Somehow the Seppies slipped them in," the sergeant said. "But General Windu will get to the bottom of it. Once he's well again."

"We tried to shield the younglings, sir; we did!" another trooper said, imploring the pair of padawans to believe him. 

"I know you would have, Trooper," Ahsoka said with faith. "Why don't you tell me your names, so the Initiates will know who to thank later?" she invited, continuing to work, even as the men slowly opened up to her. Her eyes landed on Jasi, who was listening, memorizing, just like the other pair of Initiates in here with them. It was a terrible thing that had happened, both padawans knew, but Ahsoka saw something growing in the Initiates. It was the same need to help, to reach out, that she had been hit with following the first Geonosis. She just hoped none of them pushed the crèche masters to place them too soon. 

+++

Barriss settled on the couch, and Ahsoka sprawled on the floor, her eyes drooping. Adjusting to a Togruta was making Barriss more aware that just because there was a human form did not mean all things followed in the patterns of those she had known before. From Ahsoka's actual need to eat meat, to her little naps instead of sleeping for hours, there were many differences in her species and base-line humans. Mirialans tended to mimic humans more closely, though their religious motivations and strong connection to the spiritual side of the Force set them slightly apart from those. 

"You have a good rapport with the troopers, even ones that do not know you," Barriss commented. 

"They think I'm lucky. Because of Christophsis, and the fact that we broke the war there after I arrived. They don't listen when I point out that my master and his already were doing that before I showed up." Ahsoka closed her eyes, but her short lek was still moving a little, indicating she had not gone to sleep.

"Does it ever bother you? Their status? That we are complicit in it?"

Ahsoka sighed softly, a very sad sound actually. "Yes. And Senator Amidala asked me to keep reporting to her on their welfare, because she wants to fix their status. Her bills keep getting pushed out of discussion though. As for us leading them," Ahsoka said, before pushing herself to sit up, swaying a little. "Can you imagine how much worse it would be for them under just the Fleet? Who expect soldiers, of any kind, to never be anything but soldiers anyway? The Vod'e would never have been able to break their training, grow as human beings in those hands.

"And honestly? We didn't have a choice." Ahsoka wrapped her arms around her knees. "I heard Master Kenobi talking to mine one night. If the Jedi had refused to fight, as a whole, not just the ones that have refused inside our ranks, the Senate would have outlawed us as traitors, and that would have ended us. We certainly couldn't go to the Seppies, not with that … well, Sith leading them. And I don't believe in them anyway. They claimed they just wanted to be separate from the Republic, but they were poised to attack our systems, the very day after Geonosis. That meant they intended to invade all along."

Barriss considered it from that angle. "But if we had refused, and just withdrawn?"

Ahsoka shook her head. "Both sides would have attacked us, no matter where we ran. That's one reason the Altisians had to come back under the Order, to be protected. And even the Sälãi Käsi had to negotiate with us for mutual assistance, because they have been attacked by both sides who misunderstood their neutrality."

"How do you know that?" Barriss asked her, even as she knew she should let Ahsoka sleep. 

"I listen. Master Plo and Master Fisto negotiated that last, because Master Fisto is related to the head of their order. And I heard about the Altisians from Master Kenobi. I think my master kind of wishes he had known about them earlier." 

Barriss mulled over the reasoning in Ahsoka's words. "Don't you think they would have been happier, the troops, to not have their lives complicated away from following orders? Why do you think it is so much better for us to lead instead of the Fleet?"

Ahsoka tipped her head to the side. "I wouldn't want to live and maybe die, definitely lose my brothers, without ever knowing how to smile and laugh and joke about things that are more than war. I love their art, their songs, their dances… and I see how much those things help them when it looks hopeless. We encourage that. The Fleet, would not. You see it even now, in how the Fleet personnel stay separated, never getting to know the troops.

"And part of that is the high mortality. They don't want to know people, only to have them die in massive numbers. Me? I want to learn all their names, their favorite things, and keep them alive in my heart even if they fall. It's one reason my men tolerate me pretty well. I try to learn their ways, their language, and find them more things to explore to help them be themselves. Skyguy does too, when he's not chomping at a chance to hunt Grievous or Dooku."

That left Barriss struggling to comprehend, especially as it sounded like Ahsoka was opening herself up to so much pain. "How do you cope with the loss?"

Ahsoka squeezed her knees closer to her chest. "By promising to try harder, be stronger, faster, the next time they need me. By listening when they say their litany. By adopting the litany for myself. By being their friend, the survivors, and letting them share their grief with me. It's un-Jedi to dwell on the dead, but it is the compassion they need, for me to remember with them."

"You have given me much to think about, Ahsoka," Barriss said softly. "Will you … come up on the couch?" She shifted, making certain her cup and datapad were close at hand, but making it clear she was offering physical nearness, if Ahsoka wished.

Ahsoka gave her a shy smile, then climbed up and laid out, her head just barely on Barriss's thigh. "You're sure?"

"I am."

It was not much longer before Ahsoka was asleep, soothed by the warmth and closeness. Barriss never even noticed when her free hand began stroking one budding montral, increasing Ahsoka's sense of peace and safety, helping her sleep even deeper than usual.

+++

Barriss finished chewing the bite in her mouth, took a sip, and then looked at Ahsoka clearly. "It was a trap. The war. Unwitting or not, it trapped the Jedi Order into a path where they could not be true to themselves, no matter what they chose. If they had declared neutrality, it would have been impossible to protect those that needed it. If they accepted the commission, they would be complicit not only in slavery, but in actively pursuing a violent course instead of negotiation."

Ahsoka nodded. "That's the way I see it. No matter what, the Jedi Order is in danger. Both from inside, because they can lose themselves in the violence, fall to the Dark Side, and from outside. Because the public wants us to fix this _now_ , and we can't win. Not without a major break. I don't mean forever… but it is taking longer and more resources than a lot of worlds care for."

The Mirialan watched her for a long moment, then smiled.

"What?"

Barriss shook her head. "You. You let everyone think you are just this bundle of energy, but you are very intelligent, and think deep thoughts. It's surprising."

Ahsoka grinned. "Don't give away my secret?" She then laughed, before she shrugged. "Master Ti would say it is because I am a Huntress. A good Huntress protects her clan with deed and thought both, wedded by heart. Master Plo would probably say it is because I got told, a lot, to stop and think. My master would just shrug and say I need it to keep up with him."

"He is good to you, Ahsoka? Many say he is reckless and impatient, more given to temper than is seemly," Barriss said, honest concern in her voice.

"He is, all of that. But it's part of who he is, and I'm nothing if not just as reckless." Ahsoka smiled broadly. "Yes, I admit it. I do tend to act as soon as I see the whisper of a path. But… I'm trying to learn. Trying to make the right path more visible, more quickly, so I actually get things done, not just get hurt. Or make it worse."

"I think I am learning much about you," Barriss said softly. "And it is giving me insights into where I most need to improve."

Ahsoka reached out to grasp her hand. "I think I am learning a lot from you. Maybe we'll make a decent Jedi out of me yet."


End file.
